My eyes were closed shut. I could hear the pitter-patter of rain at my window. It felt as if someone was knocking right at the walls of my heart, pleading to get out. With a sigh, I made my way towards the window to finally reward the relentless drops of water and let them touch my skin and fade all the marks of memory – painful memory – that once belonged to someone to whom I offered my heart. Someone who took it with a gentle smile on his lips and then, right in front of my eyes, crushed it in ways more than one, leaving it alive enough to pump the blood through my veins but not enough to cause me to live with the passion and enthusiasm that was me. What was he thinking? And why did he do it? And does he have any idea what he has reduced me to? Was it all intentional or not?
‘I am confused’ he had said while still looking into my eyes, feigning tears of honesty. Or was it just me who thought that he was false? I guess I will never know.
He is far, far away from me. So far yet so close. I can still feel rhythmic beating of his heart as if my head was on his chest, the way it used to be. But these are not the old times anymore. It’s different. It’s complicated. It’s him.
The cold water from the heavens makes its way straight for my eyes and it hurts. And somewhere amidst all the rain, tears gushed out, threatening to drown me if I didn’t let them through. I am no longer crying alone. It’s him. It’s always been him. The curse of my life and the happiness of my heart. The moon to my heaven and the eclipse to my world.
It’s him. It’s always been him.
To everyone who has gone through a heartbreak,
I hope I did justice to your feelings. I know you are reading it and you are very brave to have survived the pain and the awful feeling of emptiness. And I am sure, you will never fall again. Ever. Because you are strong and you are enough. Guys and girls, you will be loved again. Believe me, I know what it feels like but I also know that it doesn’t last forever.
(Image via Pinterest)