Pam Grout’s E- squared Experiment: 1

So, I’ve had this book, E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality in my possession for more than two years and haven’t done anything. There are these incredibly fun nine do-it-yourself experiments to convince us that life really is not our master, it is quite the contrary. That thoughts really do affect reality. I wish I had started doing these sooner but hey, no time is too late! So, I’ve decided to make it official on the blog so I do not lose my motivation. Following is the first experiment as given in the book.


Lab Report Sheet (as in the book)

The Principle: The Dude Abides Principle

The Theory: There is an invisible energy force or field of infinite possibilities. And it’s yours for the asking.

The Question: Does the FP exist?

The Hypothesis: If there’s a 27/7 energy force equally available to everyone, I can access it at any time simply by paying attention. Furthermore, if I ask the force for a blessing, giving it a specific time frame and clear instructions, it’ll send me a gift and say, ”My Pleasure.”

Time required:48 Hours

Start Date: 22-3-2017 Time: 14:53

Deadline for Receiving Gift: 24-3-2017, 14:53

The Approach: I hate to break it to ya, FP, but folks are starting to talk. They’re starting to wonder,”Is this guy for real?” I mean, really, it’d be so much skin off your chin to come down here and call off this crazy hide-and-seek thing you’ve been playing. I’m giving you exactly 48 hours to make your presence known. I want a thumbs-up, a clear sign,something that cannot be written off as coincidence.

Research Notes: Does a crazy-ass fight between my parents count? Because that’s the only unexpected ”gift” that came my way within these 48 hours. Oh, and an out-of-the-blue date sheet for exams. Yeah, thanks for THAT!!

But on a second note, you know what, I wasn’t exactly in an expecting mood so maybe the fault laid with my approach. I also caught myself paying too much attention to the fact that how these kinda things don’t really work for me and how I will be disappointed at the end of the allotted time, just like I always am. So, I guess, thins kinda thinking kept me from the result that could’ve been mine. So, I will try to keep my mind open as much as I can during the next experiment.

Melancholy Morning

I wrote this a few months back while I was dealing with some past unhappy memories. I hope you guys like it. Leave your thoughts below. I do so love to hear from you guys. xx


My dishevelled hair,

just the way you like it, crowd my wet eyes.

I do not want the world to see

and say that you do not care for me.

My voice, so hoarse and deep,

I say it’s due to the early morning, for

I do not want them to know, I again cried myself to sleep.

My fingers shake violently. It’s from

the chilly winter wind, they say and I agree.

because I do not want them to see,

how hard I am trying to bind together our broken memories.

– Rashi

Two letters

Dear Future Daughter,

The sun hadn’t broken through the misty sky yet. It was still dark and beautiful. It was quiet and mine. And this kind of environment gives you a lot of time to think about what you want, what you have been doing, what you want to do and why what is happening is happening. And this was exactly what I was doing at 4 in the morning a few days ago. With each brush of the cool, gentle air across my cheeks, my head became clearer and clearer and the position of the woman to whom I look up to became evident to me. Her mental position. What she goes through every day. No, it’s not anything too bad. It’s just how much her mind is troubled and how much she decided to tuck away in that deep mind of hers and doesn’t allow it to show on her face. Her husband is a very loving man or at least that is what I choose to believe. He cares for her but for selfish reasons. Because he knows that if she is gone, who will look after him? Provide him with the moral and emotional support every man needs from time to time to help him through the many struggles of life? But what he fails or maybe refuses to realise is that the same kind of care and tenderness is needed by his wife too. Desperately. But that is of little importance because she is so good at hiding her emotions and he, on the other hand, is not good enough to look past the thin veil. I remember when I related to her how Desdemona was killed by Othello due to suspicions based on jealousy. How he did not bother to ask his wife of the truth and how he could not look into the eyes of the woman he supposedly loved so much and could not discern whether she was telling the truth or not. And how, on the other hand, Desdemona still did not betray her husband when asked at her death bed about her killer. How she lied just to make sure that nothing ill befalls her husband when she is gone. I can distinctly hear the woman’s words now, what she said to me in reply to what I was referring to.

”It is a man’s universal nature, love. You cannot change that. He will always be the more jealous and he is subject to do things that he might regret later. We just have learn to live with it. No matter the evolution of the human race, a man’s pride and jealousy cannot be changed. We, as women, have to bear it.”

And at that time I wondered if it was her own experience that had led to such thoughts and convictions or was it her own mother who had passed on the words of wisdom to her daughter in order to make it known that ”it is a woman’s duty to maintain the marriage. To hold it all together as long as she can. And then, a bit longer.”

And it broke my heart when I realised that how much oppression they must have faced back in the day. If not physical, then mental which is worse still. How many harsh words her mother and her mother before that must have gobbled down the throat just because ”they must hold it together.”

To you, darling, I say, ”Screw that. Don’t be afraid of being single. Of being alone. Alone is fun. Alone means freedom. But never bow down to some douchebag who knows not how to respect someone’s emotions. And that person can be a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter. Find yourself someone worthy and until then, be alone. Don’t be afraid to break it off, no matter how many years you are into the shit. If you think it’s killing you, you have the right to leave and never look back. You were born to be happy. You were born to make your own choices. You were born to adore yourself. You were born to be with someone who can look into your eyes and know instantly that something’s wrong. With someone who respects your emotions. Never settle for less than that. Your mother never did.”


To her Future Husband,

If you are anything like what is described above, don’t bother!




HOPE, LOVE, and bucket loads of FUN.

Exams are bad. But the aftermath is worse. Oh, the anxiety, the terror, the nervous glances at the university website with eagle eyes scanning for the result. That was the condition  I was in for a week after my last exam on December 24th, 2016. And, as if this was not enough, my mum was working hard to keep the fact that I’ve got just one year left to decide what I wanted to do with my life fresh in my memory. Yeah, I get it already. Give me a break. And who hired you guys as my life advisors anyway? But, you cannot just blurt that to your parents and relatives who ‘mean well and want the best for you’. So, watchful nights started to close in and by the end of the year, I was officially freaking out.

”One year and I will have to face the same dilemma as Robert Frost did in ‘The Road not taken’! ”

”Too many responsibilities. How am I gonna handle them all? ”

But the worst of my unsolved meditations was…

”Who the hell is going to hire me anyway?” Continue reading “HOPE, LOVE, and bucket loads of FUN.”